If My Pen Runs Out

Monday July 29^th, 2013

If my pen runs out

I will get a pencil

If you take my pencil away

I’ll get a crayon

No crayon?

I will take chalk and write along the sidewalk panels

As you walk down the path to work

Or nowhere in particular

No chalk?

I will take a stone and etch my wonderings and stories into a cave wall

Like the cavemen

I’d find berries and leaves to crush and paint color

Take away that and I’ll prick my finger and use drops of my blood

To paint the pictures of my mind for all to see

To read

Take away everything?

No brush

No canvas to work with

You can never silence my mouth

I would speak my stories and my thoughts for all to hear

I’d tell my children

My family

They would tell their friends

And my ideas and stories would spread from one village to another

‘Til it reached the end of the world

Because nothing will stop me from writing

From speaking truth

From telling stories

You can strip everything from me but you can never stop me from

Dreaming

Sharing

Lion Hunter

Lion Hunter

I am the lion hunter

Hunting for the thrill

Not the kill

Shrinking in and out of darkness

And spotlight

In the rough brushing grass

The lion slowly approaches

In the darkness

He is hiding

He comes up beside me

And freezes

Staring into his eyes

I see

He is the king

I know

I understand

He has won

I watch as he leaves

I stand there breathless

With my lowered spear

Surrounded by darkness

I am free

Night Game Ride

Night Game Ride

The sun burns holes into my skin as I stare as its circular orange

Burning

Penetrating

Enveloping

My eyes

Until I can no longer see

I try to take a picture

But nothing is enough to capture

This beauty

This is it

Being here is

The only thing to witness

3 out of big 5! OH MY!

Saturday July 27^th, 2013

We went on Safari today during the day. We saw an elephant herd and elephant babies! We saw a leopard eating something it had just killed. We also saw a hyena, giraffes, zebras, impalas and warthogs!

We also went on a night game ride a.k.a a safari at nighttime and it was magical! I literally felt like I was in another world or universe. We saw almost all the same animals we saw during the day one except tonight we saw LIONS! So we’ve seen 3 out of the big five here in South Africa which are elephants, leopards, lions, water buffalos and rhinos. We were in an open top jeep car driving as the sun was setting. It was glorious and indescribable. And the stars…I’m not used to seeing stars living in Los Angeles.  We were literally trekking around in the middle of “bush” as they say with only our headlights and the flashlight being used by our guide Patrick to find the animals. I felt like we were secret explorers or hunters. The wind was blowing in my face so fiercely as we drove along that the force of it was tearing tears from my eyes.

In the darkness we searched for lions. I could see nothing but the little bit of light we were using. One of the males walked up right beside my door. It was so cool and so terrifying. It stared directly into my eyes as it marked its territory and started their hunt with the rest of their pack.

So amazing. I’m so grateful.

Mexican Food South of The Equator

Friday July 26^th, 2013

I literally just walked home with a posse of singing, yelling children all following me like I was their leader or some weird foreign creature.

My mom seems a little overwhelmed these days with this new business. I hope she doesn’t give up on her biscuit business because it’s her trademark and selfishly I miss those biscuits! She was trying to explain to me this morning in her limited English and I was trying confirm in my limited Xitsonga how to make this type of beans. I’m making my family a traditional, well as traditional as I can make it being in South Africa, Mexican dinner tonight. I’m a true Southern California girl and I miss it terribly. Hellen, our Country Associate, hooked me up and picked up some key ingredients that I would not be able to find nearby like tortillas, cheese, bell peppers, etc.

THEY LOVED THE DINNER! So did I! It was delicious! I made quesadillas, beans, rice, salsa, guacamole and provided other ingredients to make burritos and for dipping and scooping the salsa and guac. They literally devoured it. My dad barely spoke he just keep shoving his face. He also got us a big bottle of cold drink aka Coke. It was the cherry on top of the perfect meal. I said a prayer before we ate and they applauded afterwards – haha! I had to explain what salsa was and explain how to assemble burritos.

Moline helped me to make the beans and rice. She started telling me how much she was gonna miss me and I said, “Well you’ll just have to become a famous magistrate and come visit me in California. Then she said as she looked up to the heavens, “Oh please God let me not forget about Carly where our paths may cross again.” It was so genuine and sweet. I see her growing belly and know the reality of what will probably happen but I still have hope.

Mat Weaving

Thursday July 25^th, 2013

My knee hurts. I think I’ve tweaked it from too much exercising or just running on this uneven terrain.

I’m gonna take it easy but I’m so antsy to be active. I hope it feels better soon.

While I wove my mat this evening Maja kept shoving his head directly in my way wanting me to pet him. Performance and Priscilla (my cousins) came home from school and ate papaya on the steps of my grandmother’s house as they watched me weave. They handed me a whole papaya and said it was for me. Later I taught them how the play Egyptian Rat Screw. They would get too nervous and trigger happy and just keep slapping the table even when it didn’t make sense to the game. My grandma was passionately conversing on the phone when I was leaving when she hollered something at me which I took to mean to come and talk to who was on the phone with her. I took the phone and said “Hello? Hello?” but I heard no answer. I looked at the phone afraid I had accidentally hung up but alas I had not. The phone was dead, it had not been on at all. I looked at it confusingly before I handed the phone back to her where she proceeded to continue to talk to someone who was not there. It made me laugh and stare at her lovingly. It made me think of my own grandmother towards the end of her life. I see no harm in her talking no one. It just made me wonder if she was lonely or delirious or if she knew it was just for jest but I guess, does it really matter? As long as it’s real to her and she is happy, what does it matter if she mutters to a person who isn’t there? 

Roadside Stand

Wednesday July 24^th, 2013

I did a long walk to the side of the road today to see how my mom, her design team and my scholars were doing with their roadside stand idea. When I got there they hadn’t started cooking yet and there were no customers. I was a little worried that they might have none. I prayed as I walked home that they’d have a few at least.

When my mom came home in the evening she was beaming with excitement and pride. They sold out of their food and there was still a line of people waiting. My mom kept thanking me and I just kept telling her that it was her team’s idea and they made it happen. We just helped bring them together and provided a space to voice their ideas. I’m excited because this is a tangible result and outcome of how our presence here has transformed something in this community. I’m so excited to see what comes of this project and everyone else’s.

I started my mat today at my grandma’s house next door. I think she was very surprised of how long it was taking me to make progress. She started helping me wrap reeds. The mats are usually made from reeds found in the fields and little kids snack trash wrappers. Once woven together it creates a beautiful spectrum of color.

My body feels heavy

As fire burns across the village

Crick crick snip snap

Goes the bushes

As I have no idea what lurks beyond

The child will not stop crying

I ask but he will not say what is wrong