Tough Love

We had our final discussion with my group of scholars today forcing them to break up some of their scholar teams. Some of them paired up in a way that I felt, along with my other colleagues that there was more opportunity for growth if they paired another way. They scholars weren’t happy about it. I empathized with how they were feeling. I heard where each one of them were coming from. I’ve been approaching this whole process from a very collaborative standpoint. I do want them to be happy but I do want them to grow as well. My presence does matter. This is my job, to advise and guide these students to the best of my abilities. This is not a vacation, though some parts might feel like it.

I want to push them and not back down when I know that it’s important. That is what some of my best mentors did to me growing up and I hope they will continue to do so because I’m better because of it.

Yeah in the moment I may have felt hurt and angry, like life just wasn’t fair but damn am I glad that stood their ground for me, even it meant at the expense of me liking them temporarily.

That’s something I’ve had to find a balance of here. I want my students to have fun and I want the best for them. I can have fun with them but not at the expense of their growth. Not at the expense that they like me but aren’t being challenged in the program.  

My mom told me on the way to church yesterday that Moline, my 16 year old host sister, is pregnant. It made me so sad. She’s barely grown, babies having babies. It’s not something that is just a South Africa issue obviously. It happens in the U.S. all the time. I feel like she just falling into the life cycle of the fate of every other women in this village. She was talking to me about wanting to be a judge. She has dreams. She’s smart. She was getting embarrassed and giggly when April (a fellow advisor) and I, were asking about the sex education she gets in school. But it’s not funny. That’s the problem. A baby is on the way. And babies’ don’t disappear when you want them to.